Last night I watched this Gwenyth Paltrow movie called Sliding Doors. Since I loathe Ms. Paltrow and try to avoid at all costs watching any film she is in, I had never seen this one before. Now it’s not that I’m turning over a new leaf and giving her movies a chance, it was that the batteries in the remote died and I was too tired to look for replacements. Well, I must say, and yes, it hurts to admit this, but I am happy I actually gave this flick a chance. Not because dear ol’ Gwen put on a magnificent show, please, let’s not get crazy, but because the concept of the film was brilliant. The movie starts out with Gwenie being fired from her PR job.

Sometimes it’s a bitch sometimes it’s a breeze
Sometimes love’s blind and sometimes it sees
Sometimes it’s roses and, sometimes it’s weeds
Sometimes it’s a bitch sometimes it’s a breeze

You gotta take it as it comes
Sometimes it don’t come easy

I’ve run through rainbows and castles of candy
And I’ve cried a river of tears from the pain
I tried to dance with what life had to hand me
And if I could I’d do it all over again

Sometimes it’s a bitch sometimes it’s a breeze
Sometimes love’s blind and sometimes it sees
Sometimes it’s roses and, sometimes it’s weeds
Sometimes it’s a bitch sometimes it’s a breeze
Sometimes the picture just ain’t what it seems
You get what you want but it’s not what you need
Sometimes it’s a bitch sometimes it’s a breeze
Well it’s a breeze…. It’s a breeze….
-Stevie Nicks (Lyrics by Bon Jovi)

“What have you learned in the past two years?”

I sat up straight and tried to impress him with my retention of knowledge I believed to be important- things like product portfolio analysis, retrenchment strategies, advertising fundamentals… all that good stuff. As I went on he cut me off and asked the question again:
“What have you learned in the past two years?”
I paused. What he was asking of me seemed simple enough, but for some reason I wasn’t giving him the answer he wanted. I could tell he was a bit disappointed that I did not respond as quickly the second time around, so he sat back and started to explain.
“If it were up to me” he started, “you wouldn’t be able to receive your masters without submitting a final paper on the things you learned about yourself during your time in school. An advanced degree is twice the work of undergrad, maybe even three times as much since you work full time as well. The personal discoveries you make are just as important as your academic ones. Make yourself a list, put some things down on paper, you’ll be glad you did.”

Ok so here’s what I’ve discovered. None of the worthwhile lessons I’ve learned came from the pages in a book. Everything that has helped me to grow I learned from the best teacher of all: experience.

I’ve merged my list with a check list for life that was sent to me a few years ago:
1a. Family is the only thing in life that truly matters. This is not a concept that is new to me, but only something that the birth of my nephew amplified. With the addition of the little guy, our family has a different pep to it now, something that is very exciting.
1b. Family is not defined as people who share your gene pool, but who might as well, because they are just as important. However, what is most important to remember is that you should not give the privilege of treating someone like family just because you care about them. There are plenty of people who take you as their option after you make them your priority. Those people are not your family. Realize that many people are enjoyable and bring lots to your life, but they will come and go. Very few people will be the same in really bad and really good times.
2. Give people more than they expect and do it with a smile. You never know when the little extra that you do for someone will save them from the worst day of their lives or keep them from turning their back on the world.
3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. Finding balance in all things, even the things that are good, is necessary.
4. When you say, “I love you ,” mean it with every inch of your body and soul. Enough said.
5. Look people in the eye when you say that you’re sorry. Everyone is wrong sometimes. Even me. (Gasp.)
6. Believe in love at first sight. If you don’t believe it, you’ll never see it when it’s right in front of you.
7. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much. You wouldn’t want someone to laugh at yours.
8. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely. Believe this one, even if you’ve never been in love.
9. Don’t judge people by their relatives. Everyone has at least one crazy family member. If you’re thinking about your family and not thinking there are any crazy ones, well then it’s you.
10. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?” I am not an advocate of rude behavior, but sometimes people leave you not choice.
11. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. No great success in this world (relationship or business wise) ever happened without a huge leap of faith.
12. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson! There’s always a lesson when you lose, and you know what, if you’re too busy being angry or discouraged, you will miss the reason it happened.
13. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions. Enough said.
14. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. The longer you let mistakes drag on, the bigger the mess is to clean up later.
15. Spend some time alone. This is by far one of the most important on the list. You don’t need to constantly be connected (whether it’s by computer or cell phone or out) You’ll learn the most about yourself in the time that you take to be quiet and listen to yourself.

This is not a complete list, I figure I can add on as I finish, but it’s a good start. Maybe now that I’ve compiled this list I can look back on some things and understand them better. I guess this is what learning is really all about. Thinking more about it, this is the best education I could have ever gotten for myself.